...and the end of civility as we knew it.

What became of respect? Respect for individuals, respect for professionals, respect amongst adults? I have my theories including the need for immediate information, the rise of the internet (darn Al Gore) which provides too much information for many to truly understand and the focus on oneself. It's all about me and I want it now seems to be the new motto.

This week at work the loss of civility was driven home in a big way. On Tuesday a family member approached the desk and started hounding me with questions about his father, questions laced with his favorite word apparently. That word begins with 'f '. As civilly as I could I told said gentleman that I would not be answering any questions about his father's protected health information particularly in light of his own language and behaviors. Instead of being a calming influence on his behaviors my intervention caused this son to escalate to proportions where a security officer in the hospital had to be called. All because a middle aged man couldn't approach the desk and simply ask, "Could you tell me what's going on with my father's tests?"

Later that day I was coming out of a patient's room on one end of a very long hall. At the far end were two middle aged men, outside the ICU. What were they doing? Their behaviors seemed so incongruous to the setting. As I moved closer I noted that arms were flailing, one man had the other in a head lock and legs were going everywhere. My lord the two men were having a fist fight. Like in a bar, or so I'm told. As I neared the scene of the crime I find one man with a moderately severe head laceration, the other with his clothes literally ripped off his back. We soon found out that these two men are brothers, fighting over the care of their elderly mother who is in the Intensive Care Unit. Yes as an elderly woman is struggling for each breath while making her peace with the world her sons are out in the hall beating the crap out of each other.
All because the two could not go together into the lounge and have a peaceful conversation about their mom's situation and how it should be resolved.

Does this lack of common decency come at the price of a society moving too fast to remember the little things? Or is the fact that manners are no longer being taught by either parents at home or teachers in school. Sometimes I think our hectic pace makes it impossible to take the time to be gracious and civil and I long for a time before cell phones and the internet. For simpler times when manners were emphasized.

Yet I fear it's too late much the same as the babble coming out of Sarah Palin's mouth somehow passes for intelligence.