So I'm minding my business this morning (sorta), looking out the window onto aptly named Church St in my little hamlet when I am blinded by the sight of one of my neighbors. In the early morning cold stands this young thing with her man, him working fervously on her car while she dispenses advice. And I can't help but notice (as I have such impeccable taste myself) that she is wearing red flannel pj bottoms which have large pictures of a dog face and WHADDUP DAWG written on them in flaming ass yellow. Not only that, these pants are a tad too tight around the buttocks and as she moves her butt sways in the breeze.
To compliment this ensemble my neighb is sporting black Uggs, a big black down jacket, a large cup of coffee and the requisite cigarette. And I think to myself, "And I thought the PR finalists showed questionable taste at the tents in NYC this week." I could hear Tim saying, "Frankly I'm worried" as he held his chn while Nina clucked and shook her head. Guest judge SJP would be saying that she couldn't see Carrie wearing this outfit on the show. Someone would wonder aloud about use of the Blue Fly wall of accessories and Heidi, Heidi would be saying "Auf weiderstein". (only she'd spell it correctly).
It made me long desperately for some real fashion and the 5th season of Project Runway while being afraid to think what the cast of "The Real Housewives of the Hudson Valley" would look like. And I strolled across the hall to my room, hoping this morning my fat pants would fit.
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My diet consists of a half portion of Cheez Doodles.
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